Day 4

What I Did: I broke my rules, I fell off the wagon. This is supposed to be movement that I do for myself for at least a half an hour. I moved for at least 2 hours while teaching Pilates Suspended (a TRX and Pilates Hybrid class which I demonstrate most of and I did most of the Pilates class that I teach to the managers with them, but as far as movement that I did for myself, it was relegated to about 5 minutes of pullling straps and playing with my shoulders on the long box while waiting for a client who ended up no showing.
Intention: I still have the best of intentions, but my schedule yesterday didn't have much space for personal work.
Results: You know, I can really feel my mid back and scapular stabilizers in the way that I wanted to today. I'm interested to see how that plays into my GYROTONIC® session today.
Anything Else: Nope, that's all I've got for now.

Day 3

What I did: a little over an hour of Pilates on the equipment
Intention: To reconnect and explore
Result: Joy, comfort, challenge
Is there anything else?"
Mentally, I do Pilates every day....in/on someone else's body. I fall out of the practice on my own, but everytime I go back to it, I am a little dissappointed...because it feels so good...I'm dissapointed that I don't take the time to disconnect from all the distractions and practice the method every day. When I got back to my desk, I was so relaxed, and sitting upright in front of my computer was easy. My workout was a little more like a jazz riff than a classical routine. I started with footwork, skipped the 100's and played around with shortspine, spent about 45 minutes on the ladder barrel, discovered a connection between the tension in my right hip and the articulation (of lack therof) of my right toes. When I run and swim, I'm in unfamiliar territory and I feel insecure. I know I won't always feel this way if I keep practicing. When I am in working in Pilatestown, there are too many lovely things to explore and focus on, to allow for those feelings.

Day 2

What I did:  Swim Lesson
Intention: To learn to swim...after 37 years of not knowing how
What was the result: Mixed emotions
Is there anything else?: Yes, you caught that right. I am a 37 year old woman who is just learning to swim this year. Before starting lessons this year, I would never go in water over my head. As a little girl, my mom would try to teach me to float, but as soon as I realized she wasn't holding me I would freak out and sink. A couple more traumatic issues later and an entire youth of being insecure about my body in a bathing suit turned into a lifetime of never conquering my fear of swimming. I've had dreams where I can swim, and there are times in my lessons, moments at this stage, where every thing coordinates and it feels jst as I dreamt it. My instructor, Ericca, is the kindst most patient person alive. She puts up with a lot of tomfoolery from me, as I mask my insecurity with silliness. I have a tendency to stop in the middle of the pool and put me feet down, make a joke about it, and then continue. I can make it across the pool without stopping about 3-5 times for lesson usually. Today, I only made it twice. I was tired and dragging all day prior to my lesson and I tired out very easily during it.It wasn't my best lesson, but I still leave with a sense of accomplishment...because I could still be harboring the little secret that I don't know how to swim, but now I can say I can swim...kinda.

Day 1

What I did: Jog/Walked for 30 minutes, did an audition session with a perspective Pilates Instructor
What was my intention: Jogging: burn calories, work toward being an actual runner like the amazing personal trainers that I work with. Audition session: It is obviously  a test for competence, but also a chance to be able to speak to our members about what it is like to work with this instructor
What was the result: Jog/Walk=Meh. Audition session=lovely.
Is there anything else?

 It was really hard to get motivated to go out. I really just wanted a nap. Knowing that the dog had a lot of pent up energy from being inside all day, I knew it would make him happy to go with me. I also knew in the back of my mind that I had to stop with the excuses already.The first ten minutes were rough. I just felt really draggy, but then I got over that initial feeling og sluggishness and plowed through the next 20. I am not fast. I want to be, but I'm going to have to put in a lot of work. I want to be able to at minimum pull off a 10 minute mile consistently, but truthfully, between you, me and the universe I'm putting this blog out into, I want to be atheletic fast like my friends at work who plowed through the Chase Corporate Challenge in about 25 minutes. It took me 48. I've got some catching up to do. Yes it's a lofty goal, but I do really darn good things when I set my sights on doing remarkable things.  On my way back, my iPod played this song called "Can I Get That" One of the lyrics is something like, "Girl you look just like a superstar, got a body like a racing car." I want a body like a racing car, I thought. It's true. I am shallow enough to be motivated by vanity. Honestly, the "I'm too deep/ intellectual to be vain" line of thought is a deadly demotivating pitfall. It's one that I am very good at nurturing a big ball of laziness. When I'm done with my run, I always feel like I could have pushed harder. Next time I will.

The audition session was nice. I always feel more in control of my body when someone else is guiding my session. I like to give someone else the reigns of my workout. It somehow takes the presure off. It allows me to keep my eyes inside my head where they belong and I don't feel like I have to be in control of every movement. It frees me up to shut my brain down a little and exeprience the sensation of the movements.Yum.

90 Days of Movement

Today I start a new project for myself. I am going to dedicate 30-60 minutes every day for the next 90 days to movement of some kind and then document the experience by answering the following 4 questions:
What I did:
Intention:
Result:
Is there more to it?:

Why am I doing this? I don't hold myself accountable, and I find it very easy to make excuses to not work out, not explore, not do my own work.

So...excuses stop. Today.

My great American log out.

I just returned from a camping vacation. It was the first vacation I have taken for the sake recreation since 2003. Every other time that I have travelled in the past 10 years has been for a wedding, or a workshop, or work. Sure, I have a day off here or there, but my first realization is that for the sake of my own sanity, I definitely need to plan on more time to rest and relax.

The best thing about this vacation was that I was literally off the grid. No cell phone reception. This means no access to the studio and the studio has no access to me.

It was liberating.

It made me realize a lot of things.

I'm addicted to my workload. For the first couple of days, it was really hard for me to slow down and stop worrying.

My little iphone makes things too fast for me and everyone else. The immediacy makes us all so quick to respond, and I find that a lot of things don't get thought through thoroughly.

So, for me, I am going to continue to keep things a little slower. Just because we can go faster, doesn't mean we have to.

I'm not saying, I'm going to travel through life at a snail's pace. When expediency is necessary, I can pick up the pace. But speed for speed's sake seems to lead to more accidents, mistakes, and stress than success.

Slow and steady wins the race.

The Justice

When you reach a place in any Pilates exercise where you tremble or vibrate a little in your abdominal muscles and you hear me say, "There's the justice," I don't mean it as punishment. It's mostly a little joke that started with one of my students about a year ago. I was trying to explain to her that sometimes when you are new to Pilates or even if you are a seasoned student and approaching something challenging, your muscles will tremble a little. It doesn't hurt, and even though you think you might "feel" it the next day, you usually don't. I was teaching this student the rollback on the cadillac for the first time and I was making her go slowly taking a breath to imprint practically each vertebra one at a time when she started trembling. In the moment, I went to say,"There you go, did I do it justice, the way that I explained it?" What came out of my mouth was, "There you go, am I doing the justice?" She continued, still trembling, and said, "Yes! You're doing the justice!"

From there on out, we decided to call that moment of deep challenge "the justice."