Day 12: Sunday is for Living Room Yoga

What I did: On Demand Shiva Rea Radiant Heart Yoga
Intention: To further explore the energy discovered yesterday
Result: A rebith of including the spirit in mind-body workouts

Yes, I did an onDemand Yoga practice again today, and I really liked the snippet of this that I did. So, I bought the whole DVD.

This challenge, surprisingly, has reignited my interest in things that are more ethereal. In 2009, I took Anatomy in 3D through Balanced Body and was so inspired by that path that I took it upon myself to become an instructor for the program. The result was that I becames obsessed with the enginering behind movement and opened up a whole mental pathway that was scientific thinking, and I started leading with a different hemisphere of my brain. In spite of the fact that I have always tested well in math and science, I have rebelled against that side of my brain for the majority of my life. Choosing to lead with my emotions, rather than my intellect, I spent most of my adolescent and adult life as a passionate, somewhat serious, creative type.

Discovering the Anatomy in 3D as a vehicle to strengthen my intellectual muscles, I started taking more action in my life based on things like facts and reality, rather than making decision after decision based on emotion. Over the past three years, I've evolved from a hard working but always broke instructor who bounced back and forth between happiness and depression and who didn't feel like an adult into a grown woman who runs a department of 20 with car payments that she can make comfortably, enough time on her hands to explore and learn more, and the ability to spend time developing her self-awareness.

Interestingly, this 90 day challenge has lead me in directions that I never expected. I set out thinking of vanity,  assuming that if I forced myself to move for 90 days, my body would look better. I never thought I would find myself going back to the frontier of life force and chakras, but here I am again, finding comfort in energy work, something that is considered less "scientific" in most circles. There is always something that feels kind of magical about energy work (and by energy work I refer to lots of things: Reiki, the GYROTONIC® method, yoga, T'ai Chi.), and yet I'm convinced that there will one day be a solid scientific explanation as to why these things are so beneficial to our health.

All in all, this just reinforces what I have always thought about health, everything has to be in balance. Balance is health. Balance between intellect, emotion, physical strength and flexibility, and spiritual health.

Day 12: GYROTONIC® with Fernando

What I did: A private GYROTONIC® session
Intention: To prepare for my Pretraining, learn more  about the method that I manage but don't teach yet
Result: Lots of good discoveries today.

As usual, when faced with stress, I can concentrate intensely on the work. My swim lessons go better when there is something on my plate at work that is challenging. Yesterday, I encountered a "situation" minutes before my lesson and considered late cancelling my session. However, that little kick in the pants sparked me out of my Saturday stupor, and I entered my session "on the ready." The movements have started to become less mehanical and I began to feel the energy work that comes from the movement. It felt like a heat, a power was pulling up from the ground through my heels, a lot like the energy I used to generate with a regular T'ai Chi practice. Even learning new pieces of the work, I found the energy generated from doing the more familiar movements carried through into the new choreogrpahy I was learning, and the new movements seemed to happen by themselves as though that is what was meant to happen.  This feels like a good path to be on with the work.

Day 11: PIlates Anytime

What I did: Pilates Anytime workout #257
Intention: To do a mat workout
Result: Joy

Pilates Anytime  is a godsend for an instructor on one of those days when you want someone else to tell you what to do, but you don't have the desire to leave the house or can't find a class. I just chose this workout at random.The instructor, Amy Havens, provides a great clarity in her instruction. She is no nonsense, relaxed, and good at getting you to be precise. I like what they call the pace of this workout: deliberate. It is exactly that. You go at a speed that allows you to really tune into what you are doing and yet, you only did 4-8 repetitions in most of the exercises. She reminds my of my first instructors, who were very good at putting you in the moment and making the movements so purposeful that you could be done with them after a few reps and not feel like you cheated. Highlights of this particular workout include:

• a cruel broken up 100: 50, then single leg and double leg stretch, then the other 50
• a sweet little pelvic placement exercise prior to open leg rocker
• an interesting take on side legs, I was also comforted that she almost forgot part of her series aon the second side. I would do that more often than I would like to admit when I used to teach mat classes regularly
• an interesting thoracic rotation exercise

I also love that she gave mention of her influences. This is a "Pat Guyton" thing she would say when referring to a couple of movements.

Like Comcast onDemand Yoga, Pilates Anytime is not for everyone, but it's a gift for some.

It has physically been a good week.

I am really looking forward to my next GYRO. session tomorrow with Fernando.

Day 10: Going Deep

Day 10: Going Deep
What I did: Pelvic Clock, shoulder clock, and passive rotation
Intention: Listen to my body
Result: It was a fair to middling experience.

More?
I almost skipped my task today, but after talking to several people today about how setting this intention has kept me moving and accountable, I couldn't give up. Initially, I was going to do a mat workout. Last night,  I woke up in the middle of the night, and I was sick to my stomach this morning, so much so that I thought about calling in sick today. I still feel a little woozy and out of it, but mat work seemed like a way to pass the time. I lied down on the mat and felt askew. So I worked through some pevic tilts and thought to myself, how often do I spend time exploring my movements deeply these days. In theatre school, we would spend an entire hour doing Feldenkrais pelvic clocks. So, I went there. Pelvic clock for 20 minutes, 10 minutes on each shoulder, and holding a passive spine rotation stretch for a few minutes each. All in all it felt good, but I still feel wonky.

It did make me remember sometime how much  I like mindful, simple movements, as well as how wobbly even the tiniest movement can feel if it isn't executed frequently.

Day 9: Swimming Lesson

What I did: Swimming Lesson
Intention: To be able to swim well enough to use lap swimming as part of my exercise routine..and to still the voices in my head.
Result: 2nd intention acheived, 1st intention, I'm getting closer.
What else can I say about it?
 I have a running joke with my instructor. If I have an easy day at work, I am a disaster in the pool. If I have a stressful day at work, I am excellent in the pool. Today I had stress: it was my first day teaching the stroller workout, meetings to talk about issues that are frustrating, a list of phone calls to make. And I was briliant in the pool. I only stopped in the middle twice. I was sort of able to take the cues that Ericca gave me. However, what I truly belived influenced my lesson the most, was the invincible feeling that I got from the day before. Self confidence is sometimes as elusive as motivation. I find motivation to be like a heavy boulder. It's a challenge to get it rolling, but once you set it in motion it is easy to keep it going. I hope that my self confidence operates the same way.

90 Days of Movement: Day 8: Jog/Run

What I did: Set forth to jog/run from home around Clark Square Park and back home without stopping
Intention: To stop being a stop and walk sissy when I go out, and to honor my friend Cathy Hunter Adolph and her crew, who are AMAZING.
Results: Intention achieved mother-truckers

Is there anything else?
You betcha. There is a great deal of psychological business to explore when it comes to this particular jog. First, I'll admit it: I am not quite a "runner"....yet. After today, I would honestly say, give me time and I will whole heartedly call myself a runner very soon. I snarkily call what I do "trotting and panting." When I was doing a running boot camp to prepare for the Chase Corporate Challenge, I gave in easily. I pushed myself sometimes, but it was hard as h-e-double hockey sticks. Regardless, I didn't let all the little voices that judge me stop me. My inner critic had a lot of things to say. My inner critic told me that  the Director of Pilates and GYRO. should be able to run a few laps without wanting to stop or barf. Two of my instructors were in running camp with me, and they were in-fricking-credible. They would take off, moving with grace lie exquisite gazelles and clearing a lap iless than an minute and a half, and I kept sucking up my pokey 13 minute miles, knowing that even if I was slow, if I quit, I would never be as fast as them, and I like seeing them go so fast and having something to catch up to. It just reinforces something that one of my professors told me in undergrad. If I am surrounded by people who excel, I will do work that chases after them and exceeds them. When I am around people that are at my same level,  I do just enough, but don't test my limits. So, I've found that I grow the best when I step into the realm with people who are exceed the limits that I live at comfortably. I think the same is true for most people, but somewhere in my adult life, I learned the habit of seeking out people who excel. I get bored and restless if I'm the best person in the room.

How does Cathy play into this? I only knew Cathy for about a month before she decided to follow her bliss to Idaho, but in the brief time I knew her, she proved to be a powerhouse of positivity. Last weekend, she, her husband and 4 other friends ran in the Ragnar Relay. An adventure in total insanity: 24 hours, from Madison to Chicago, 6 runners on an ultra team take turns running around 200 miles. Each person eventually runs the distance of a marathon or more over the course of the day and night. A mighty feat that seemed unfathomable when I first heard of it, there is a tiny bit of me that wants to try it some day.  Cathy's last leg of the run was 13.1 miles from Evanston to Montrose Harbor. Having just recently done my first 5k and having to stop and walk 3 times, I sat in awe when I imagined running even the last leg of Cathy's  race. I blamed the heat in my race, but that's a poor excuse. It was blazing hot when Cathy and her crew were doing their race. In imagining what it might be like to do something like that, I decided that the next time I went out, I would do the distance I normally do on my own, about 2 miles, without stopping, which I have never done. And I did. Truthfully, it didn't seem like such a big deal once I was done. It just goes to show that the mind is a powerful tool. Since I was doing it as a tribute, it didn't really seem that hard at all. Because I was inspired, I was able to exceed my expectations. My distance is miniature compared to her acheivements, but what I did today was better than I've done since I was 22 years old.

So thanks the Cathy, for pushing herself so hard, so that I can use her as a reason to push myself. Look out, girl. I'll be clipping at your heels in no time.

Day 7: Extended Dog Walk

What I Did: After work tonight, I took the dog for a 30 minute walk, rather than the 10 minute around the block version
Intention: to keep my project rolling
Result: It's enough.
Is there anything else?
My inner critic keeps accusing me of copping out. 20 extra minutes of dog walking isn't much. Sometimes, something is better than nothing.

Bones, my run walk buddy

Day 6: Living room Yoga

Day 6: Living Room Yoga
What I did: A 41 minute Intermediate-Advanced Yoga Practice that was available on my Xfinity Demand
Intention: To fulfill my 90 day plan requirements without having to leave the house or think for myself.
Results: Intention Acheived

Is there anything else?
Of course there is. Last night my goal for today was to go for another run. IN fact, my promise to myself was to honor my friend Cathy Hunter Adolph who, like a warrior, ran on an ultra team in the Ragnar Relay yesterday. My plan was to go out for my ususal 3 mile path and not stop, no matter what, which would have been easy for Cathy, but super hard for me.  The race she did yesterday is total insanity: 24 hours, from Madison to Chicago, 6 runners on an ultra team take turns. It can also be completed with 12 runners. That almost seems fathomable to me....maybe next year. Although, no sleep for 24 hours combined with running seems like a formula for injury.

 This morning, however, the idea of running didn't seem right. It's really hot out. I woke up at 6:30 and just laid there, completely relaxed. I'm sure most of you know how rare it is to have complete stillness. As a woman who manages a staff of almost 20 instructors, has a goofy high energy boyfriend, and plans to have chidren sometime in the next few years...I have to embrace stillness and silence when the gift of it is in my presence. The boyfriend is out of town. The dog already is sluggish and lazy from the heat. So I chose this morning to embrace waking up pain free, relaxed, and happy from 6:30 to about 9am as a two and a half hour freeform savasana, drifting in and out of consciousness So the idea of loud music and driving through the heat with my legs seemed inappropriately brutal to my mental and physical state.

I also sometimes need an entire day where I don't deal with people. So I scrolled through the on demand options and decided on this workout.  I didn't expect it to be very challenging because when I had looked through the options a few years ago, they were what you would expect., innocuously safe. This is for good reason You don't want the average person trying to do handstands and headstands without someone to call the hospital nearby if something goes awry. I was pleased to find that this practice included both handstands and headstands, which are way too challenging for me at this point, since I haven't dones yoga in almost 3 years. I know. When I did the math I was surprised, too. That, however, serves the purpose of setting this challenge for myself. I am discovering so much just by setting the intention to move for at least 30 minutes every day.

Back to the topic of having onDemand fitness, there's something I hear from time to time out of instructors mouths, and it really rubs me the wrong way. I hear them say things like, "Doing a video is pointless, you're never going to do it right." I think that undermines your ultimate goal as a mind-body instructor. Sure, it's good for your financial bottom line to convince your clients that they could never do these things without you, but ultimately it's a dysfunctional codependant relationship that you are setting them up for. I believe that we should be arming people to eventually not need us. On that same note,  I overheard another instructor poo-pooing online trainings for Pilates Instruction. I think I understand what they are getting at, but I think that they oversimplify. Of course, private session is better than doing a class which is better than doing a video at home. The same thing for teacher training. I would probably never hire someone who had done their entire certification online, but once you have a strong background, I think that online materials and self study are successful tools for most instructors to use. So, as such, I believe in anything that will get a person moving. If having an on demand workout to follow along with is the thing that gets anyone further off the sofa and into the world. Good for them.

As far as the actual yoga practice, I forgot how challenging yoga can be. As I'm holding a pose, shaking, and working to still my breath, I realized that yoga is a way to clean out your mental closet. At first, I was thinking, "This shouldn't be so hard." But as I was able to relase and find the stillness, I realized how much mental clutter was leaving my universe. I can think of a few people right now that I think should do a little more yoga, smoke a few less smokey treats, eat fewer buritos, and drink fewer beers. It would do them a world of good. Although these are the same friends that probably look at my tweet/ facebook page and think, "There goes Lisa again being all serious about what she does."

Well, that's about all I've got for now. Now back to my regularly scheduled day of doing whatever I feel like. XOXO.

Day 5: GYROTONIC® Method session

What I did: A GYROTONIC Session at CNS Kinetics with Fernando
Intention: To experience the work of GYROTONICS® away from work, without interruption.
Result: Another good session, I'm learning to let go.

Is there more to say? You bet. I have had a very similar conversation with many Pilates instructors who have ventured into GYRO. A large component of Pilates is precision. While GYRO is specific, your body doesn't truly understand the movements until you let go of control. So much of Pilates IS control. As such, the disciplined Pilates brain sometimes wants more of a checklist to work through. I was late for my session. The studio is so close to home that wait until the last minute, and then if there is anything, like oh say...a firetruck, I end uplate. I find that, just as I do in my swim lesson, I use comedy when I'm working through unfamiliar sensations. I actually verbalized to Fernando today, that I know I have a tendency to distract myself with humor and that I really needed to focus in, to which he was very respectful towards my attempts to stifle my "bits" to make light of when I messed up. It's okay to have a sense of humor....but sometimes mine gets in the way of the real work.  All in all, I really like the way I feel after a session I find myself imagining dance choreopgraphy in the car when I drive, lately. I have to wonder if it's connected. The GYROTONIC® Method was initially called Yoga for Dancers, after all. . Learning Pilates and then becoming an instructor gave me a sense of power and control which lead to a solid self confidence that I had always craved. Prior to that stage in my life, I hadn't mastered the art of control in a constructive way. I'm interested to see what practicing GYRO. brings out in me

Day 4

What I Did: I broke my rules, I fell off the wagon. This is supposed to be movement that I do for myself for at least a half an hour. I moved for at least 2 hours while teaching Pilates Suspended (a TRX and Pilates Hybrid class which I demonstrate most of and I did most of the Pilates class that I teach to the managers with them, but as far as movement that I did for myself, it was relegated to about 5 minutes of pullling straps and playing with my shoulders on the long box while waiting for a client who ended up no showing.
Intention: I still have the best of intentions, but my schedule yesterday didn't have much space for personal work.
Results: You know, I can really feel my mid back and scapular stabilizers in the way that I wanted to today. I'm interested to see how that plays into my GYROTONIC® session today.
Anything Else: Nope, that's all I've got for now.

Day 3

What I did: a little over an hour of Pilates on the equipment
Intention: To reconnect and explore
Result: Joy, comfort, challenge
Is there anything else?"
Mentally, I do Pilates every day....in/on someone else's body. I fall out of the practice on my own, but everytime I go back to it, I am a little dissappointed...because it feels so good...I'm dissapointed that I don't take the time to disconnect from all the distractions and practice the method every day. When I got back to my desk, I was so relaxed, and sitting upright in front of my computer was easy. My workout was a little more like a jazz riff than a classical routine. I started with footwork, skipped the 100's and played around with shortspine, spent about 45 minutes on the ladder barrel, discovered a connection between the tension in my right hip and the articulation (of lack therof) of my right toes. When I run and swim, I'm in unfamiliar territory and I feel insecure. I know I won't always feel this way if I keep practicing. When I am in working in Pilatestown, there are too many lovely things to explore and focus on, to allow for those feelings.

Day 2

What I did:  Swim Lesson
Intention: To learn to swim...after 37 years of not knowing how
What was the result: Mixed emotions
Is there anything else?: Yes, you caught that right. I am a 37 year old woman who is just learning to swim this year. Before starting lessons this year, I would never go in water over my head. As a little girl, my mom would try to teach me to float, but as soon as I realized she wasn't holding me I would freak out and sink. A couple more traumatic issues later and an entire youth of being insecure about my body in a bathing suit turned into a lifetime of never conquering my fear of swimming. I've had dreams where I can swim, and there are times in my lessons, moments at this stage, where every thing coordinates and it feels jst as I dreamt it. My instructor, Ericca, is the kindst most patient person alive. She puts up with a lot of tomfoolery from me, as I mask my insecurity with silliness. I have a tendency to stop in the middle of the pool and put me feet down, make a joke about it, and then continue. I can make it across the pool without stopping about 3-5 times for lesson usually. Today, I only made it twice. I was tired and dragging all day prior to my lesson and I tired out very easily during it.It wasn't my best lesson, but I still leave with a sense of accomplishment...because I could still be harboring the little secret that I don't know how to swim, but now I can say I can swim...kinda.

Day 1

What I did: Jog/Walked for 30 minutes, did an audition session with a perspective Pilates Instructor
What was my intention: Jogging: burn calories, work toward being an actual runner like the amazing personal trainers that I work with. Audition session: It is obviously  a test for competence, but also a chance to be able to speak to our members about what it is like to work with this instructor
What was the result: Jog/Walk=Meh. Audition session=lovely.
Is there anything else?

 It was really hard to get motivated to go out. I really just wanted a nap. Knowing that the dog had a lot of pent up energy from being inside all day, I knew it would make him happy to go with me. I also knew in the back of my mind that I had to stop with the excuses already.The first ten minutes were rough. I just felt really draggy, but then I got over that initial feeling og sluggishness and plowed through the next 20. I am not fast. I want to be, but I'm going to have to put in a lot of work. I want to be able to at minimum pull off a 10 minute mile consistently, but truthfully, between you, me and the universe I'm putting this blog out into, I want to be atheletic fast like my friends at work who plowed through the Chase Corporate Challenge in about 25 minutes. It took me 48. I've got some catching up to do. Yes it's a lofty goal, but I do really darn good things when I set my sights on doing remarkable things.  On my way back, my iPod played this song called "Can I Get That" One of the lyrics is something like, "Girl you look just like a superstar, got a body like a racing car." I want a body like a racing car, I thought. It's true. I am shallow enough to be motivated by vanity. Honestly, the "I'm too deep/ intellectual to be vain" line of thought is a deadly demotivating pitfall. It's one that I am very good at nurturing a big ball of laziness. When I'm done with my run, I always feel like I could have pushed harder. Next time I will.

The audition session was nice. I always feel more in control of my body when someone else is guiding my session. I like to give someone else the reigns of my workout. It somehow takes the presure off. It allows me to keep my eyes inside my head where they belong and I don't feel like I have to be in control of every movement. It frees me up to shut my brain down a little and exeprience the sensation of the movements.Yum.

90 Days of Movement

Today I start a new project for myself. I am going to dedicate 30-60 minutes every day for the next 90 days to movement of some kind and then document the experience by answering the following 4 questions:
What I did:
Intention:
Result:
Is there more to it?:

Why am I doing this? I don't hold myself accountable, and I find it very easy to make excuses to not work out, not explore, not do my own work.

So...excuses stop. Today.